October 2005

Michelle Graci  Due to the recent notification from the FCC that our fraternal affairs and internet publications discriminate against women we are forced with no choice other than to elect a female as brother of the month.  No women have previously been awarded this highest honor until now.  Michelle, congratulations on your insurmountable dedication to a fraternity you are too feminine and sexy to be ever become a part of.  Your work is greatly appreciated and your attitude qualifies you to not only run with the Greek Goddesses of TKE but rejoice with the Gods themselves.

AUGUST 2005

Edward Pennington has been appointed the brother of the month for the month of August.  Ed is a very special child who to say the least has always been there to brighten up even our darkest nights even if it meant the usage of an ambulance or two.  Still to this day I wonder how Ed has supported himself through his cartoon-like lifestyle.  I suppose when you're a local celebrity, work is but a distraction.  Ed, along with his partner in crime (his pet squirrel), has better things to do as his many talents include the art of playing his naturally evolved head drums and demonstrating microwaving techniques.  One day he wishes to patent his recycling invention.  Nobody has ever quite figured out how he makes glass bottles disappear so quickly...Maybe they are slowly filling that hollow head of his.  Either way all it takes is a handful of pocket change and a few beers (at least one empty)...  Rumor has it that his motto is to start from zero then become the hero.  Whatever you gotta do to break bread, your dreams are your reality, Hambone!